I’m almost two months away from a flight to Shanghai!
While I will be in Arizona for the majority of my remaining time in the States, working at a summer camp, it seems like I’m mentally halfway into China because of all the preparations I need to make for the move. They say it’s the little things in life that matter – well, that’s definitely true in moving. Every time I cross something off my to-do list, I have about three or four more tasks that pop up. I guess I’ll never feel fully prepared. How can you feel thoroughly prepared to move alone to a different country?
I’m currently trying to prepare for an inspection of my Jeep, which I leased two years ago and will need to return to a dealership within the next three weeks. This is the last big task I need to knock off my list, and one of the big moments that reminds me what I’m doing. The work visa, the flight ticket, the returned Jeep – three giant leaps on the path to leaving Arizona.
Time feels both oddly compressed and simultaneously stretched out. Now that I’m not really teaching at the moment, I have the time and energy to see friends, go to events, read all the books I want – time stretches out, and summer feels like it will never end. But the constant focus on China (and more frequent “oh, shit, what am I doing” moments) compresses my time, making me feel like I’m leaving tomorrow completely underprepared. I think there is no escaping that feeling, and maybe I don’t want to escape it; I have time to enjoy with people I care about, and I have enough to do that I’m not just dwelling in anxiety for two months.
Little by little, I’m making moves. By the time I’m on the plane, I’m sure it will feel as though it all happened in a second. I’m just trying to focus on the little steps for now – the big step will come soon enough.